"The unread story is not a story; it is little black marks on wood pulp. The reader, reading it, makes it live: a live thing, a story."-Ursula K. Le Guin
I never thought it would happen so quickly, and I never expected to feel like I do. I've been talking about publishing for months. Even when I was writing, I knew that was the end goal. What I didn't expect was this feeling, this feeling of falling and flying at the same time.
The only thing I can compare it to is when you are standing in the wings about to enter the stage for a performance. You are a jumble of jitters: excited, nervous, ecstatic, and scared all at the same time. That's how I feel. I can't believe I have a giant piece of myself out there for the world to enjoy, out there for the world to judge. It is terrifying. But the best kind of terrifying. I mean, what if they hate it? What if they rip it to shreds? What if they say it's the worst thing they've ever read? I would like to say I've prepared myself for it. I know everyone won't love it. And I'd like to think that I'm okay with that. But even so, you still kind of hope that it doesn't happen.
I am thankful that I was able to get out of the house today and couldn't sit by my computer refreshing the page to look and see if people had bought my book every ten seconds. I think I would have gone mad. Every Facebook post or new Twitter follower I've had today has made me want to jump for joy and has kept this ridiculous smile on my face for the last twelve hours.
I know I probably should have expected it, but the outpouring of love and support I have received from friends and co-workers today has blown my mind. If I didn't already think I had the world's greatest friends, then I definitely do now. I could never have guessed that they would have jumped at the opportunity to tell me "congratulations" or to say "I bought your book." It is so overwhelming and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are amazing.
I could go on and on forever thanking those of you who have showed faith in me today, so I'll leave you with one last thought.
I remember writing stories in elementary school...none of which got very far because what eight-year-old has enough discipline to write a book, but I remember them vividly. In high school, I entertained my friends with a teen drama based on us full of all the teen angst you could hope for. When I joined Facebook nine years ago, I wrote that it was a dream to publish a novel one day, never really thinking that it could actually happen.
But today it did. Today I was able to achieve something I have wanted to do for practically my entire life. And it is amazing.
It feels like I'm falling and flying all at the same time.